A recent Reddit post has ignited a heated discussion about generational expectations when it comes to family and childcare. A 29-year-old new mother turned to her 64-year-old mother for help looking after her newborn so she could return to work. Expecting free support from her retired, stay-at-home mother, she was shocked when the grandmother flatly refused, stating she had already raised her children and wasn’t interested in being a full-time, unpaid nanny. The situation quickly escalated, reflecting the growing tension between older and younger generations over unpaid labor and family obligations.

The grandmother took her stance further, suggesting that her daughter should have stayed home with the baby—just as she had in her own day, when her husband was the sole provider and she dedicated herself to raising children. But the daughter explained that in today’s economic climate, that wasn’t feasible. She disclosed her \$55,000 annual salary and significant debt: \$39,000 in student loans and \$20,000 in other obligations. Her partner, earning \$36,000 a year and carrying \$5,000 in credit card debt, couldn’t support the family alone. With a small one-bedroom apartment and hopes of eventually upgrading their living situation, staying home simply wasn’t an option.

Despite being aware of her daughter’s financial struggles, the grandmother laid out strict conditions. She demanded \$20 an hour for childcare, extra charges for late pickups, and required the parents to supply a second car seat and stroller. She also refused to commute, insisting the baby be dropped off at her house, which she had only visited once in five years—even though it’s just 15 minutes away. These demands led the young mother to conclude that hiring her own mother would be more costly than enrolling the baby in professional daycare, something she hadn’t anticipated when reaching out for help.

Feeling overwhelmed and unsupported, the mother took to Reddit, asking if she was wrong for refusing to pay her mom and sarcastically added that her mother “does nothing but watch TV and cook.” However, this remark triggered intense backlash. Rather than siding with her, many users criticized the daughter’s dismissive tone and sense of entitlement. They argued that the grandmother had earned her retirement and should not be expected to take on a physically demanding job without fair compensation—especially when it was clear she was unwilling.

The majority of Reddit users stood firmly with the grandmother, stressing that childcare is a serious responsibility, not a given favor owed by grandparents. They highlighted how the daughter should have discussed expectations for childcare well before the baby was born. This debate sheds light on the larger issue of how modern families navigate financial pressures and family support, especially when traditional roles no longer align with today’s economic realities. It raises a critical question: have grandparents “done their time,” or is childcare a shared duty when family is involved?